If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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