when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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