Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Randomize
