After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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