Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Lo siento on account of my penis...
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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