last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
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