I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize