she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
