Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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