Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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