yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
