How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Randomize
