i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
