i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
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