Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
