tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
