Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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