singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
