I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
