We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
