I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day ππ#pensacolaproblems
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
Itβs like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize