No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
