I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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