I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
