i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
