she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
