i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Randomize
