fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
