Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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