I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
