were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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