Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize