i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
