She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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