it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
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