I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
