No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
