btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
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