I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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