Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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