You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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