his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
