This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
