So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
