Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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