Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Is this like a preordered booty call?
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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