my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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