State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Randomize
