on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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