yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
last night I used snow as a chaser
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Randomize
