What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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