when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
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