Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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