literally had 100 drinks last night.
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
