so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Randomize
