i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
That accounts for only three of the penises
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
