Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
