I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
