Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Randomize